Review of Machete (2010) by Denise O — 17 Jan 2012

This was just way too much of a fun movie provided you don't mind gratuitous violence. Danny Trejo stars as rough and rugged hero whose weapon of choice is, you guessed it, a machete. El Machete is hired by a stranger to assassinate a senate hopeful whose ideals and values as well as last name are too coincidental to be anything but a parody of John McCain. When his assassination attempt is thwarted by an assassination attempt on himself El Machete has no choice but to get to the bottom of it all. With the help of his brother who is also a Father, played by Cheech Marin, Luz (played by Michelle Rodriguez, yum!), the owner of a taco truck (why not?) and Jessica Alba's character (if anyone ever did a remake of Showgirls, Jessica is the only one who could fill the shoes of Elizabeth Berkeley as Nomi) he sets out to set things right and cure evil Texas of their racists values.

Kudos to: Lindsay Lohan (for having the balls to play a character that matches her own personal life) and Robert Rodriguez (for having the balls to cast her in his movie). I still hold out hope for you Lindsay you were promising.