Review of Machete (2010) by Roddersj04 — 01 Apr 2011

Machete may not send texts, but he definately can make a brilliant movie. Danny Trejo stars as Machete, who was a cop in Mexico before he got double crossed and Steven Segal decapitated his wife. Three years later, Machete is an illegal immigrant living in Texas, who is then given an opportunity to kill a senator (Robert De Niro) who wants to get rid of all the immigrants.

The job then turns out to be a set-up, as the Senator is shot in the leg by his own man and Machete is framed. First things first, this film doesn't attempt to be a heart-warming story or a contendor for the Oscars, all it attempts to be is a Mexploitation film which is full of action, blood and laughs.

And in that context, it succeeds. It's about time Danny Trejo got the leading role for a movie, he's 66 and been in over 100 films, yet this is his first leading role in a film. Robert Rodriguez especially rewards him, by having him get in a pool with a naked Lindsey Lohan and her naked onscreen mom.

The action in this film may seem a bit over the top, but the great thing is that the film revels in being over the top, it is quite in vein of the old B movies. In one scene he attaches a machine gun to a motorbike and rides it high into the sky, with an explosion behind him, taking down about ten guys at once.

In fact, heres a link to that particular scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF0JCB24Ld8 This film has a wicked sense of humour. In the opening, Machete carries out a naked girl, who then stabs him with his own machete and then calls the bad guys.

I know what you're thinking, "The girls naked, where does she get a cell phone from?". Think about it with a dirty mind. Yeah, from there. During a fight in the hospital, Machete stabs an enemy, then pulls out his intestine and escapes out a window.

This film also boasts what I call the funniest bodyguards I have seen in a film so far. Machete, to enter a villians mansion, grabs a load of gardening equipment and poses as a gardener, the guards let him in.

One guard then remarks "You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw. You know, a machete.

..". They then realise what he's said, and have their asses handed to them by Machete. Later the guards (still alive) talk about how people are fine with Mexicans working for them, yet not with letting them live in this country, and when Machete returns, one guard just proclaims "I quit!" and hands Machete his gun, making the smart choice and walking out alive.