Review of Life of Brian (1979) by Archibald T — 24 Mar 2011

A star moves and three wise men approach a village. They come bearing gifts for the one who will become the future Messiah. If only there were numbers on the stables that way the wise men wouldn't have entered the wrong one. Instead of Jesus, they meet baby Brian. Born a Jew and later discovered in adulthood to be a Roman instead. His mother was, at first, raped by a Roman and I assume wanted it to continue. The Roman was Naughtius Maximus not Biggus Dickus or Pontius Pilate.

Judith is apart of the Peoples Front of Judea and Brian loves her and hates the Roman's even though he is one. So he decides to join. Their plans to kidnap Pilate's wife turns out to be a failure when another group with the same plan wants to kidnap her as well. Both groups fight and Brian is the last man standing, captured and brought to Pontius Pilate.

When the guards are stuck laughing at Pilate's speech impediment, Brian escapes. He hides alongside a group of crap prophets and tries to dispense his own prophecy which gets a lot of attention. The people begin to look to him and decide that he's the messiah. Even Judith is willing to sleep with him on account of this revelation which really baffles Brian.

When Brian is captured by the Roman's he's scheduled to be crucified. Hung up on the cross, along with many other basterds, he and everybody break out into a song to lift their spirits up. You can always look at the bright side of life because just think they might've been stoned to death and that's just wrong. Being crucified though is much better because you're out in the open air with other people. You can even get a tan and catch up on your times tables. 2x2=4, 2x3=6....