Review of Legends of the Fall (1994) by Liz V — 14 Jan 2013

This is the dumbest flipping movie I've ever seen. My friend and I watched The Room and Battlefield Earth, but at least we could run with it then because they were unintentionally hilarious. This film doesn't even have that going for it. I felt compelled to make my opinion known here, lest other film enthusiasts waste two hours of their precious lives on this "critically acclaimed" piece of pretentious garbage.

This movie is laced with condescension towards Native Americans and coupled with a good measure of White Man's Burden, terrible writing, blunt and unsympathetic characters and almost zero character development, with the worst subplots imaginable.

Not even Brad Pitt's sexy body - which you rarely see, I might add - can save this film. Do something else. Tell your mother how much you love her. Learn a new language. Run a mile. Maybe walk on hot coals while learning to juggle knives and chew on glass. Just don't see this movie.

This is serious advice: watch Grizzly Man instead. Two hours of exploring what actually happens if you act with the mental capacity the main characters in Legends of the Fall have.