Review of Kull the Conqueror (1997) by J W — 28 Jun 2011

For a late-90s medieval-style fantasy, Kull isn't that bad. Of course, it isn't that good either. You know you're in trouble when you make a movie that damn near copies Conan the Barbarian. Sorbo's acting is rather stale; he looks really tired and bored throughout the entire film. It's as if it were filmed while he were taking a break from shooting the TV show Hercules.

Tia Carerre as the resurrected evil witch/queen/demon/thing was somewhat fun to watch, if a bit over-the-top at times. At least her costumes were adequately revealing, which I think is all that matters to the target audience.

The problem with the main characters is that they are so stereotypical that they come across as flat, two-dimensional characters with nothing better to do than fight each other. The hero has no faults (other than a dark past as a pirate and rogue, which is never explored in detail and only adds to his heroic charm), while the villain has no redeeming qualities. It's just a classic battle of good versus evil, except the execution of that battle is less classic than some of the film's music.

This is actually one of those movies where the supporting cast stands out better than the main characters, which is part of the film's saving grace. Most of the secondary characters seem a lot more interested in what they are doing and offer much more convincing performances than the boring stereotypes they trail behind.

Visually, the movie is pretty average. Since it's not meant to take place in an ancient Earth, there is a mixed plate of styles influenced by fantasy and history alike. The result is acceptable, though some more creative concept art might have done the movie more justice. Special effects are also average, and adequate for the time it was released. Some of the CGI was pretty obvious, but acceptable for the casual viewer.

Whether you like the movie's soundtrack or not depends largely on how you feel movies should be presented, and partly on what kind of music you're into. I personally enjoyed the sword fights set to heavily distorted guitar riffs, as well as the standard orchestral fantasy fare. Unfortunately not everything modern translates well into a medieval-style fantasy, as many of the actors (especially Sorbo) drone out their lines with their standard voices. Not that every fantasy movie needs to be full of medieval British accents, but a little voice training to sound less "American suburb" would have helped.

There are a few weird plot holes that I don't really understand either. For example, the guy who resurrected Akivasha...why did he wait for Kull to become king before resurrecting her? Was there a missing scene where he only just found the scroll he was reading from? And for that matter, why did he even need to tell the conspirators who were plotting against Kull? Couldn't he have done it on his own anyway? If Kull didn't trust Juba that much, why did he insist on bringing him aboard the ship? And why did Juba just give him a ship to begin with? You'd think a guy like that would have put up more of a fuss and tried to get something out of it. If the Breath of Valka could only be carried by a woman, why didn't they have Zarelda kiss Akivasha (thereby causing Akivasha to show her true form and then die)? That would also have been more appealing to the target audience, I think. And while we're on the topic of not making sense, why is he called "Kull: The Conqueror?" He didn't actually conquer anything, he just sort of inherited the throne from the guy he killed. The rest of the movie was just about defeating the evil sorceress/demon/witch/whatever. You'd expect a movie with a title like that to have some kind of epic military struggle. But anyway...

Despite its flaws, Kull: The Conqueror is a watchable and entertaining film, if you're in the mood for simple brainless entertainment. It's full of decent (if poorly choreographed) action, but its stale good-versus-evil premise will leave intelligent audiences with sore eyeball sockets from rolling them every five minutes. Anachronistic dialogue and music, plot holes the size of Guam, lack of originality, and blatant plagiarism from better movies distract from the story.