Review of Kong: Skull Island (2017) by Frame R — 03 Apr 2018

Now it's your chance to see Tom Hiddleston's nipples in IMAX.

KONG: SKULL ISLAND.

Call me crazy but I tend to prefer smart entertainment. Even with admittedly popcorn blockbusters, I'll always lean towards the ones that bring something new. I got to say that I had my expectations high for this one but they quickly got smashed as hard as Hollywood's idea of having no character development. But even with undercooked characters, the performers can't raise the bar. Brie, the ultimate example of a one time Oscar winner, goes from dull to questionable, John C. Reilly is an archetype and Samuel L Jackson is... well, Samuel L. Jackson, reminding us that you can do tons of movies and in most of them play you. Even Tom Hiddleston, one of the most underused performers of today, is lifeless and can't give weight to an uneven and unremarkable screenplay. He seems to have been cast based on the fact that he looks great in a tight shirt and what a nice piece of ass that is but... that's all there is to him. The fact that Kong is the most captivating character in the film, even though his true nature is glossed over, tells you a lot of how barren this is. Peter Jackson's film is actually very good and even though it's pretty much mass entertainment, it's enjoyable and builds upon Jackson's greatest suit: acute sense of storytelling. This new film throws away the love dynamic girl-ape with disgrace. Knowing that it's the most alluring aspect of the Kong films, stripping away the duality of a beast loving a woman and not replacing it with something as stirring, is a wrong move. There are some good action scenes but never a stand out, and the the third act is the most bearable one, remembering to drop the blockbustery color palette present throughout the film and giving us some good shots. Some other scenes are poorly constructed and incite laughter when it was not intended, but overall the film doesn't take a risk that allows it to be either very good or awful. After the credits roll, the wait-there's-more! moment comes along and the mandatory cinematic universe starts being built. Wow, how surprising. It's coming to a point when every studio points to the Avengers and say, "Capitalist New York mommy, I want a shared universe! I want it! I want iiiiiiit!". Lastly, it's ironic that this movie's promotional campaign steals so much of Apocalypse Now, as the it lacks what Coppola's film was filled to the brim with: dare.