Review of Kong: Skull Island (2017) by Eric H — 29 Apr 2017

Absolute trash a complete lack of character development lines that are so cheesy and overused you cringe when you hear them a plot line that makes no logical sense with a character who somehow managed to get quite fat on an island where food is scarce and then a moment's notice you could be running for your life this character has also supposedly spent years with the native peoples of the island yet for some reason he is completely oblivious as to how to truly communicate with them after spending nearly three decades in their presence as my friend pointed out they overplay the Asian stereotype and make her accent so thick subtitles would be useful even if her lines are meaningless and the black guy from Straight Outta Compton is a good actor there's no denying that but in this movie he looks like he just got a fresh line up from a barber shop Even after spending days on the island they have no scientific interest in King Kong their main mission se.

Ems to be two-fold one to prove his existence and then after that nuke the shit out of him and okay yeah they made him taller big deal you used CGI from 10 or 15 years ago might as well have been watching Mighty Joe Young and last thing at the end they showed the guy meeting his son after being stranded on the island for 30-plus years well guess what here's the big surprise we don't give a shit we would not have cared if every character died on the island I mean their conversations were vapid and they were the very definition of one-dimensional I'm going to be straight up if I hadn't been with my best friends and not had some beers before and during the movie this review would have been even worse look the character of King Kong is legendary if you want to enjoy the story watch the 2005 version or if you're feeling really nostalgic watch the groundbreaking classic this version absolutely sucks I'm sure you'll be able to buy it at Walmart for about $5 and a couple of months.