Review of Knock Off (1998) by Mark D — 13 Mar 2008

Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lela Rochon, and Rob Schneider star in this amazing straight-to-video film about a couple of hustling Hong Kong knock off artists who get caught in over their heads when they uncover a terrorist plot involving counterfeit jeans...(read more) and a lot of attitude. I�d like to point out some of the aspects that make this movie unbelievably incredible.

The Star: This movie has an outstanding cast. If you ask me, any film starring Jean-Claude Van Damme is a damned action goldmine. You may disagree, but you would be wrong.

Plot: The plot of this film involves terrorists who develop a highly deadly explosive disguised harmlessly as rivet-buttons on knock off jeans. Genius.

Green Flames: Every explosion (yes, EVERY explosion) in this film results in what can only be described as the holy fire of Saint Patrick himself. I don�t quite know how or why green flames became a part of the storyline, but this movie has them.

Coked-out Van Damme: We all know that Jean-Claude is hooked on the blow- but what you may not be familiar with is a movie where JCVD has certainly snorted the dust of the gods before shooting each scene. His overly giddy dialogue, allergic shiners, sunken eyes, and spastic gestures make for some of the greatest Van Damme acting I have seen to date.

Rob Schneider: Oh that crazy cat is back, and guess what? Heââ?¬â?¢s making an ass of himself yet again. I think at some point every director must say to himself/herself: ââ?¬Å?You know what this movie is missing? Rob Schneider acting like a complete idiot, thatââ?¬â?¢s what.ââ?¬Â? Then the director goes and calls Robbyââ?¬â?¢s agent who seems to have no problem whoring his client out to anything that comes along.

A Buddha Base: That�s right, a Buddha base. Filmed in Hong Kong, where there is no shortage of large Buddha Statues, the C.I.A. along with local authorities have a base inside a giant Buddha. I�ve never seen a Buddha base before, and probably never will again. This movie made it happen. Oh, and I don�t want to spoil the movie for you, but at the end of the film the Buddha base explodes in a giant ball of green flame.

Fifteen nuns and twelve bikers agree that this movie will entertain. If JCVD isn�t enough enjoyment for you, well then� actually that doesn�t make sense. Of course Van Damme is enough enjoyment. Silly me.

The plot takes several twists and turns and keeps you guessing right to the very end (repeatedly asking ââ?¬Å?What the hell is happening?ââ?¬Â? is guessing, isnââ?¬â?¢t it?). Iââ?¬â?¢m not sure what else to say about this movie, so go watch it; you will be laughing too hard to be disappointed.