Review of Jurassic World Dominion (2022) by Kakaloto — 14 Jul 2022

This movie is *terrible*. It's the writing: hands-down the worst writing of any movie I've seen recently except Morbius. The dialogue is bland, the humour falls flat, the character interactions are soulless, the structure is non-existent and the CGI looks cheap. It also follows the trend of homogenizing all animals into our friendly pals: with every movie that comes out nowadays wild creatures are portrayed more and more like dogs or domesticated animals. They do this because it will satisfy the largest demographic even if it totally blows. They do this because Hollywood is garbage.

Also the plot, without going into too much detail: it sucks. I know pretty much everyone who's ever seen the other movies is going to have to see JW Dominion so if you're among them just set the bar very low in your mind. There were more than a handful of lines that made me full cringe. Hell, Emily Carmichael even wrote herself into the movie fan-girling over Ian Malcolm. Wouldn't even care if the movie weren't so horribly written, but to lay such a huge cinematic fart and dive right into it... Seriously though, this, Morbius, Dr.Strange 2, Sam Raimi? The chick who wrote the awful Pacific Rim sequel, the guy who wrote Gods of Egypt and the dude who full on ruined the original Spiderman trilogy after giving it okay-but-very-corny beginnings: This is who Hollywood hires. Morons. Actual talentless people profiting insane amounts off of nepotism.

And the acting, on top of everything else it was just all around kinda bad. Jeff Goldblum was the only character that felt right because he's Jeff Goldblum. Otherwise even the old pros like Sam Niell were delivering some lines in a weird way, like they only did one take. Watching Jurassic World Dominion felt like sitting through a toothless Jurassic Park children's series.