Review of Johnson Family Vacation (2004) by Bryan G — 31 Jul 2005

[font=Courier New]On weekends, I usually let my best friend sleep in before I start to bother him about being a lazy bum. This is usually time I use to watch movies that play on television. Television and I don?t really have a good relationship. There are a few things I like watching, but for the most part I only own one to watch DVD?s on. But occasionally I will watch movies to play on channels like HBO.

One such movie was [i]Johnson Family Vacation[/i]. Now this is a movie that I would never give a chance to watch on any normal circumstance. But since there was nothing else on television that I hadn?t already seen, I felt like ?What the hell!?

That was a bad way of thinking. It isn?t that the acting is bad, or that the plot is awful. It is the fact that nothing that happens in this movie is believable. How the hell can all these awful things happen to one family on their way to their family reunion? And how come on the way back from the reunion is the journey a smooth and evil-eventless one?

I am under the impression now that no good will ever come out of Cedric the Entertainer. I?ve never thought he was funny. I didn?t like him on The Original Kings of Comedy, and I really didn?t like his ill-fated television show. And don?t get me started on his role in Be Cool!

I did however like Vanessa L. Williams? and god forgive me, Bow Wow. Though Williams played her mother character as a complete bitch, and Bow Wow was just a stereotype of black youth, they were the only two in this movie with enough life to keep me from giving up on the movie.

There were many moments in the movie that tested my nerve, that I was amazed I stuck with it. And just for the hell of it, how did this family? with no prior practice? all know the dance routine to their musical performance at the family reunion?

This isn?t even dumb enough to be a good family film. It is just plain awful garbage that takes time away from more valuable things like sleeping. Which is what I should have continued to do the morning that I watched this movie. Until I can load DVD?s directing into my head, I will continue to own a television, and unfortunately stumble onto movies like this.[/font].