Review of John Carter (2012) by Quincytheodore — 18 Mar 2012

With a name worthy of being a USA president, John Carter goes for an adventure in Mars instead, although there's no oil there. It appears Mars, or Barsoom as they call it, is not as inhospitable as we thought. It's a planet populated by overly-tanned fitness models and a hybrid species between Goro from Mortal Kombat and Jar-Jar from Star Wars. Just as any fantasy adventure plot demands, there's bound to be a vagabond protagonist and a princess in distress whose fates are entwined together. But wait, John Carter doesn't only have one, but two princesses in distress, one being alien chieftain's daughter and not romance-able.

Usually I don't put much spoiler, but you can obviously see that it's not Earth, so screw it. John Carter is a mediocre intergalactic adventure, it has few appeals but the pacing is uneven and characters are not fully realized. It actually opens up in a rather interesting fashion, fast paced and quite funny. The difference between Earth and Mars is visually adequate as each style transforms smoothly. However it comes to a slow sludge about one third of the movie in an attempt to establish barely existing chemistry between John and the princess, then it's pushed rushingly in latter half, practically shortening any dramatic battles in progress.

Taylor Kitsch as John Carter (Gambit in X-Men Origins : Wolverine) does a decent job on his role as John Carter. He holds the main spot quite well, but not as aspiring as a redeemed cavalry officer turned Mars adventurer might be. Lynn Collins as the princess, Dejah Thoris is physically notable, if they want some Amazons leading female, she's there. Unfortunately her acting is subpar, her first monologue is ironically about how she sucks at monologue. Her delivery is rigid and forced like a commercial of some sort, doesn't exactly invoke a strong leader character.

As you might expect from countless other adventure movies, in a twist of fate, John saved her and it's like love at first life threatening situation. Of course, for 30 minutes she put up her tsundere shield, but ultimately madly swooned by John's charm and the fact that he air-walks like nobody's business. It's all very familiar, in fact it's near replica of Dastan and the princess of Prince of Persia, but those were better cast.