Review of John Carter (2012) by Sgt. C — 18 Feb 2015

(35%).

During Christmas you're never too far away from a turkey, and in 2012 Disney decided to bestow the world with one in the summer for a change. And while this is no way as terrible as say Battlefield earth, but it still misses the mark owing mainly to its pretty awful story telling meaning at no point did I ever care about anything that happened, or indeed any main character featured. This mixes up elements taken from historical epics, a touch of westerns, more than a bit of the Star Wars prequels, Stargate, just to name a few. And even at nearly two quite laborious hours in length it still struggles to fit everything it feels it needs resulting in a unsatisfying, uneven, and at times quite dull whole. I did though like the big headed dog/frog monster which I thought was by far the best character, and this is quite well shot, but besides that there's nothing really here to see and I'm so glad I never paid any real money to see it.