Review of Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten (2007) by Greg D — 25 Dec 2007

So I went to the theater this weekend. Two movies today, one on Sunday and another movie two weeks ago at the local cinema-cafe (you can drink there!). I haven't been of the theater-going type for months, mostly because I don't like to go alone and I'm a hermit. Perfect pickins for ondemand. Anyways....and you will know me by my trail of movie reviews.

I started writing a long, whole post entry for [i]Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten[/i], but Rockintim's already seen the flick and openoffice ate what I had. It's not like anyone else cares, and if you do, PM me. Long story short, Joe Strummer started off as a goddamned hippie, created Bono and remains one of the greatest historical characters in my life. Julien Temple filmed a bunch of people talking around campfires interspersed with biographical footage to capture the life of the greatest chameleon who ever lived. Johnny Depp was there (Fucking Bono, too), and I had tears in my eyes when it was all over. Pillar of hope if there ever was one.

[i]No Country for Old Men [/i]is two hours of pure tension with occasional spurts of brutal violence. That one Spanish guy (from the crappy movie I'll mention later) is the greatest cold-blooded killer this side of the Terminator. Except he's a fucking efficient psychopath. I was on the edge of my seat for most of the film...just waiting. Then shit would go BLAM! and I'd get really excited until shit would get tightly wound agian. Pure nihilism, Terry Gross and her nihlism-hating ass be damned.

[i]Sweeney Todd[/i] (the second film in my mini-marathon) was, quite frankly, great and entertaining. And masturbatory. Johnny Depp singing showtunes and slitting peoples' throats for two hours? Yes please! Burton somehow managed to stretch the plot a little thin, but he still shot an entertaining, engrossing (cliched-inducing!) film about a crazy person who's good with knives. Like he hadn't done it before.

I must take several spaces to write about the turd that is known as [i]Love in a Time of Cholera[/i]. I just read my first Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel, and I really hope that this piece of crap tried really hard not to follow Marquez at all. He has an incredible way with irony, but [i]LIATOC[/i] just sucks. Boring suckery is followed by untitillating tits. The badass from [i]NCFOM[/i] is somehow cast as the biggest worthless piece of crap this side of Fredo Corleone. Yes, there were tits, but the capstone is the lead actress putting on fake makeup old lady breasts which negate any "Yeah, those titties sure make this crappy, sentimental, pretentious epic kinda good" reactions some viewers might have first pumped.

3 for 4. Not bad, and the latter almost got me laid. *F[color=Yellow]u[/color]cking goes nuts*.