Review of Jigsaw (2017) by Connor S — 06 Nov 2017

Ryan Higa once made a parody trailer for Saw 12. Back then, there were only 6 Saw movies, but now we're up to number 8. What's remarkable about this franchise is that it seems to make a sport out of closing the door to potential sequels, yet it finds an excuse to make another one anyways. I really wish Hollywood would just let this franchise die already.

Thankfully, Jigsaw is short, lasting only an hour and a half, because it's an incredibly dumb movie. Sometimes, it's dumb in an unintentionally funny way, but other times, it's dumb in a cringe-worthy way. Jigsaw is so stupid, it thinks the Taliban are in Iraq (they're in Afghanistan). While the movie plays at being something profound, its insistence at being taken seriously can't be taken seriously. Neither the script nor the editing make any attempt to hide the plot's twists, which are mostly repeats of plot twists we've already seen in previous Saw movies. It doesn't help that the actors give cheesy performances to the tune of melodramatic music.

Granted, moviegoers don't really watch Saw for the plot; they watch it to see unlikable people get tortured to death in gruesome ways. Unfortunately, Jigsaw fails in that regard, too. I don't mean that it isn't gruesome. There's plenty of gore. The problem is the gore is not realistic at all. According to the Saw theory of biology, humans are basically water balloons filled with blood and guts. Again, there's a lot of unintentional laughs to be had there, but you'll be laughing at the movie, not with it. The solutions to each of the puzzles are immediately obvious, so you're more likely to roll your eyes at the characters' inability to solve them than feel suspense. At least there's only one bad jump scare, but we still have to endure more blue color correction with only a little variety from Hollywood's second favorite color, orange. Really, it's all pretty pathetic to watch. If you really want to see a Saw movie, watch one of the 7 other ones for free.