Review of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) by Matthew S — 13 Mar 2008

The title pretty much says it all. Our Savior, Jesus Christ himself, returns to deal some major slayage to vamps who are grafting lesbian skin over their own so they can strut around in daylight. Though the post-credit outtakes feature a fairly blasphemous image of JC getting some mock oral service, it's difficult to find the film itself terribly offensive in any way: after all, the Messiah does kick the bejesus out of the forces of darkness, and takes the time to deliver a passionate pro-gay sermon of tolerance.

(He also beats down a swarm of irate atheists for good measure!) Total campfest is about as amateurish a production as you'll find, but its degraded film stock, bad post-synch dubbing, lo-fi funktastic score, drama club acting, and awkward (though ambitious) fight sequences all channel an authentic grindhouse texture with throwback charm all its own.

Plus, the filmmaker's self-reflexive parody keeps the belly laughs coming, even if the gags do lose steam as the sloppy kung fu choreography dominates the final act. All the same, any film that has the Son of God getting kicked in the nuts, a makeover, and lead a show-stopping musical number in the first fifteen minutes has got to be a good time.