Review of Jennifer's Body (2009) by Stuart G — 15 Nov 2011
What a piece of shit! I don't know when this movie was destianed to fail. When the horrible horrible Megan Fox was casted. (I mean she is 100% talentless. The one movie she was in that I enjoyed, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, she still showed no talent.
So it's not even the blockbuster/horror factor that made her bad. And not even all that hot. She's hot like a quarter pounder taste good. Sure it'll feed you and tastes ok. But when there is a Red Robin down the road.
You get what I mean. You want to see a hot girl like that just go into Hooters or a poorly estahblished strip club. You'll see better there.) Or did it fail when Diablo Cody put fingertips to keyboard.
Some examples: "You need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation." "Nice insult, Hannah Montana. You got any more harsh digs?" "Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, your butch!" Her skills as a writer is an insult.
The gore is uninventive by any standards and could even borderline PG-13 standings. I couldn't care about any character in this mess. And Kyle Gallner disappointed me again. I first saw him as a reoccuring character on the last season of The Shield and his performance was amazing.
In the same vein as Michael Pitt. But every movie I have seen him in since then has been a poorly choiced role. One last thing. Diablo if you name another movie after an awesome 90's grunge song; I'll make it my life mission to make sure you go back working as a stripper and never touch a keyboard or pen AGAIN! FUCK THIS MOVIE AND MEGAN FOX.
This review of Jennifer's Body (2009) was written by Stuart G on 15 Nov 2011.
Jennifer's Body has generally received mixed reviews.
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