Review of Jem and the Holograms (2015) by Daniyal S — 21 Oct 2015

At it's heart, this is mostly a pretty harmless film about a girl who gets discovered on the Internet and brings her sisters along as her band, who are then in turn inspired to continue based on videos their fans post on the Internet to thank them.

Yes, there's a certain found-footage style to some of the film -- it IS partially produced by Blumhouse -- but it works to convey that aspect of the story. Where it falls apart is when it forces the 80s cartoon bits into the narrative, as those parts are so contrived that they just fall flat; from the tag lines awkwardly inserted into dialog, to the hologram/robot that somehow leads them on a puzzle-solving quest, to the sequel-baiting mid-credit scene introducing the series' villains who hadn't even been mentioned until that point.

I also don't know WHAT Juliette Lewis was doing, but she must have been told to chomp on the scenery in every scene she was in, and she's not the kind of actress who can pull that off. The sound mixing was off; I could tell the actors were lip-singing the right words, but during the stage performances it never looked like it was her singing, and certainly didn't look like the others were playing instruments that fit the music.

However, all that being said, in all honesty the parts when it's just the girls being sisters aren't bad at all, maybe a bit cliche but enjoyably so, and their occasional a capalla singing was good when it happened, and it's those bits where the movie actually felt real.

Even the songs, which sure are modern pop, aren't really that bad; they're upbeat and happy and have a certain energy that keeps things from crashing. Why they chose to force Jem into this story baffles me, as they might have had a decent film, but I guess they thought the name recognition would sell more tickets.

Too bad it's probably just going to piss off fans of the original instead. Also, what kind of father records a final message to only ONE of his two pre-teen daughters?