Review of Jack Reacher (2012) by Bryanfurysmom — 08 Jan 2013

What was Tom Cruise, the big blockbuster movie guy known for trillion dollar franchises like mission impossible doing in this half-baked piss poor movie that just reeks of being rushed for the holiday season? Personally, I would have rather paid to see the Guilt Trip (yeah, its that bad) but my buddies bought my ticket for me.

Basically, some dude picks off a bunch of dudes GTA-style and falls into a coma after name dropping some other mysterious dude who apparently makes people gush, blush, get their panties in a bunch or go berserk or all of the above. No one knows who he is or what he does or where he's from or how he got there but instantly he's a private investigator, an MMA street fighter, a hypnotic with the power of persuasion who can get people to just hand over their cars, information and other stuff for no reason at all. All the ladies want to sleep with him and all the guys want to beat him senseless. Who is he? He's Jack Reach Around...errr...Jack Reacher. But who cares? Action? What action? There's 3 fights in the entire movie....and that's it. The rest of it is all investigative mumbo jumbo and legal crap that makes you wish that CSI (which it clearly got its influence from) never happened. And apparently its totally cool with the cops that Mr. Reacher shoots people, breaks into homes, steals cars and bangs the D.A.'s daughter. Remember, he's got the power of persuasion...awwww yeah.

Honestly this movie sucks. It's not worth seeing at the cinema. You'd do better to wait for it on-demand or netflix or something. It's easily among the most forgettable movies of 2012.