Review of Irrational Man (2015) by Danny L — 28 Jul 2015

Not since the dreadful "Purple Rose of Cairo" has a Woody Allen film turned out to be such a corny and insufferable creation. Very sad, given that several of his more recent films proved to be his best, for example, "Match Point.".

Here is some helpful advice for the old man, since he fast approaches his senile years, and may not have much left to offer in his current decline:

1. Take a break -- yes, get off the cinema treadmill, spend about one year just doing anything except creative work. Live your life away from a film set, editing room, or writer's desk. You are cannibalizing your own material, repeating tired old themes and fetishes, ad nauseam.

2. NEVER appear in any of your own films, not directly or indirectly -- most of your more mature audience has grown weary of your tired old neurotic nebbish persona, whether you provide it directly as the lead actor or via a proxy, in this case, Joaquin Phoenix. Just create a mesmerizing story (e.g. Match Point) in which the primary characters do NOT resemble an unappealing assortment of Jewish nerds and/or self-hating Hebrews.

3. Surprise your audience -- you may think it's cute to use the same black and white credits; the same jazz music; the same old, same old. However, it has become an excruciating bore. In fact, at this point in time, it just seems plain lazy and anti-creative. What was most appealing about several of your recent films (best example: "Match Point") was that, at least in terms of theme, they did NOT resemble your past work. If you do not show some kind of radical artistic growth, if you insist upon staying within a rut, well, the bad news is that most of your original audience has changed quite significantly over the years-- and they have matured in ways you have not.

Anyway, no doubt such a radical proposition for a change in modus operandi will offend Woody's various fervent disciples who treat the man as a veritable "god;" after all, how can any "common man" dare to challenge a "god?" Well, I am more than happy to do so because, "god" or not, the old guy wasted my time and money in my irrational attendance at his latest cornball vomitus.