Review of Iron Man 3 (2013) by Im3Suckedpenis — 10 Mar 2019

Meet the textbook definition of a bad, poorly made, boring movie, folks. Make no mistake, Iron Man 3 is an absolute insult to anyone who ever liked a good film or anyone who ever picked up a comic book.

Sometimes, you can make a good comic book movie while not following the source material closely. Sometimes, you can make a bad comic book while following the source material. Well, with this movie, we got a comic book movie that does not follow the source material but it's still bad.

To describe the utter idiocy of everything happening with the characters and the story is not enough to fit into the word limit that this site allows in reviews. The setup of the main conflict in the movie is laughable.

A guy gets mad at the main hero for not fulfilling his wish, and his wish was to... meet him at the rooftop? That is the conflict that drives the whole movie. A guy is mad at Tony Stark because Tony Stark promised the guy to meet him at some place, but then he was too busy getting laid, so he forgot about him, and that made that guy sad.

That's our conflict, everyone! This is so bad, it makes you question if whoever wrote this nonsense wanted to intentionally write a story as bad as they can. Well, they achieved what they were seeking.

The movie's premise, its characters, its everything is nothing short of terrible in every sense of that word. Tony Stark is a cardboard cutout in this movie. The main villain is a cardboard cutout in this movie.

And the ending, where our hero's love interest suddenly gains powers and turns into a superhero, is the most anticlimactic, dumb ending to a superhero movie since Catwoman. It may be even worse than that.

If you want to watch a good Iron Man movie, watch the first one.