Review of I'm Still Here (2010) by Erno K — 12 Mar 2011

What the fuck is this shit? No really, I'm asking, why the hell was this film made? And why did it have to be so goddamn long?

First of all, there are two many cocks in this "movie". Nary a second goes past without someone whipping out some genitalia. Uncool and unnecessary. Secondly, I happen to think that Joaquin openly doing drugs in a quasi-documentary, after his own brother has died of a drug overdose, is pretty damn tasteless. Overall, Phoenix is a truly obnoxious and generally unlikable guy here, which just makes watching this all the more irritable, as he is in every scene.

I have no idea what the purpose of this film is. Is it a satire of fame or publicity? The people behind it have admitted it's a mockumentary, so we know it's not real. The scenes with other celebrities are also staged, but I guessed that quite quickly. If they really thought this would be funny, we have a completely different take on humor. I mostly found this garbage uncomfortable to watch. And boring! Nothing happens really, except Joaquin acting crazy and insulting other people. And then somebody shits on his face. Yes, you read it correctly.

What I would want to know is how many people in JP's (A nickname of his own making) inner circle knew about this. Probably all of them, but I'd like to know if there are any authentic reactions or "performances" in the film. They would be the only interesting thing in it in my book.

Either way, this merely pissed me off, and I'm angry at myself for letting my curiosity get the better of me. Do not make the same mistake. There honestly is nothing to see here, move along. I hope JP's career takes a hit in the aftermath, he deserves it after coming up with this train wreck.