Review of Illegal Tender (2007) by Lauren F — 06 Sep 2007

This movie is absolute trash. It's awful. I wish I had a notebook with me so I could write down everything that was terrible about this movie. When the best actor in the film is a ten year old, you have a problem.

The mother turns from Latin in the 1980s to black in the present day. The family decides to run away from the Bronx and moves to Danbury, CT...a half hour away!! There is so much repeat dialogue, even in the same scene, that it actually becomes funny.

I tutored kids in Washington DC and I'm convinced that the majority of them could write a better script than this. At one point I was convinced that all I would see would be the "star" speeding around in his DELEON BMW blaring music.

This scene appeared at least four times. I knew this movie would be bad but I wanted to see it because I figured it would provide some good laughs. Indeed there were a few, such as the over the top mom coming out of the house midday, guns raging and the creepy dad of the "star's" girlfriend.

By the way, what neighborhood do these people live in that there is a full fledged shootout in broad daylight and the cops don't get there until nightfall. Ugh so many problems with this piece of trash.

The only reason it gets a full star is because of the insanely hot aunt and a pretty decent reggaeton soundtrack. Pure awfulness. I haven't seen a movie this bad in theatres in quite a few years.