Review of Ice Princess (2005) by Rick G — 17 May 2010

Remember the day you had that really delicious vanilla wafer?

Didn't think so.

It's a simple, only slightly sweet confection, a fleeting treat. It's the briefest and tamest of pleasures, entirely forgettable just seconds later. Much like Ice Princess.

Disney's G-rated live-action film is a perfectly plain, utterly unambitious, totally tepid bit of entertainment for kids.

That's not entirely a criticism.

In an age where entertainment for kids is increasingly comparable in subject matter to that for adults, with increasing violence, strong language and even sexuality, this film is refreshingly chaste.

Michelle Trachtenberg plays Casey Carlyle, a teenager whose figure-skating dreams don't figure into her mother's expectations. But with grit, the passion to follow her heart and the help of a tough-as-nails coach (Kim Cattrall), she might just make it.

Did we mention the vanilla wafer?

Ice Princess is trite and dopey, which tells you that Joan Cusack, as Casey's mom, really needed the paycheck, but it's never crude and it shows impressive restraint.

Consider: The past 12 months have brought us family comedies with Ashley Olsen repeatedly undressed (New York Minute), young kids repeatedly abandoned and endangered (Are We There Yet?) and a climactic fight scene thankfully unrepeated on David Hasselhoff's butt (The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie). Ice Princess, to its credit, avoids such pandering.

Trachtenberg, best known for playing little sister to TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is fairly believable in the youthful role, considering she's 19. She's also a familiar face in family films for her roles as Harriet the Spy and as Penny in Inspector Gadget.

However, her presence could be a little disconcerting to anyone familiar with last year's raunchy R-rated comedy Eurotrip. That film focused most of its marketing campaign and several scenes in the unrated version specifically on Trachtenberg's more titillating qualities. It's not exactly Tara Reid cast as Heidi, but you get the idea.

Trachtenberg is a better skater than you'd expect, clearly performing many of the less arduous moves herself. And cameos by Michelle Kwan and Brian Boitano are pleasant enough, even if we can't see the latter anymore without wondering "What would Brian Boitano do?".

And if that reference doesn't ring any bells with your kids, Ice Princess might be the perfect Saturday matinee version for them.

(Note: This review originally appeared in the St. Petersburg Times, which owns this material.).