Review of Human Traffic (1999) by Therese O — 12 Aug 2011

You know when someone breathlessly tells you a story that is long winded and takes various diversions along the way, before they realize you don't give a toss and want them to simply stop? (No? Then I guess you've never met me because all my friends have.) Once that happens what does the storyteller always say? "I guess you had to be there!" That's Human Traffic in a nutshell, if you weren't there in some capacity then it is just about a bunch of young d*ckheads running around talking sh*t and taking drugs, but if you are the low side of 40 then perhaps at one time it is quite likely that YOU were one of the young d*ckheads running around and talking sh*t, drugs and/or alcohol may or may not have been a factor too.

My "clubbing" era was reasonably brief, maybe 19 through 24ish, but during that span I had 15 nights that at least vaguely resembled the night the 5 main characters have in Human Traffic, without much of the snappy dialogue and cutscenes though.

The five characters should be irrelevant and largely interchangeable, but in this film the casting is great and they all have sufficient time that we learn about who they are and what makes them tick.

They are: Jip â?? the Everydude. A low-ranking office employee who hates the workaday life and lives for the weekend. Oh, and he has a mum who is a hooker.

Koop â?? Jip's best mate. A super-cool record shop employee in the way that you can only be in your late teens or early 20s. (Record shop employees in their 40s are simply sad or creepy.) Nina â?? Koop's missus. A fast-food chain employee who is chatty and friendly.

Lulu â?? The dizzy blonde love interest. I tried to think of more ways to describe her but came out dry, the only underdone character in the film.

Moff â?? That guy who is a little too intense and you worry about one day he'll just snap, but is fun to have around the periphery. (It also helps that he is a small time pusher and they are all small time users.) The film is very British, there are no concessions to slang and accents. Everyone talks varying degrees of rubbish and often they talk aforementioned rubbish direct to camera. Embedded in between almost every major scene are several pseudo-skits that shouldn't work, featuring the main characters and their interactions with various other citizens, posers, authority figures and relatives. I say shouldn't work but they all seem to, in fact the only one that gets me leaning towards the FF button on the remote is one where they re-make the British anthem, everything else adds to the film.

So once we've met the whipper-snappers we get to follow them from the drudgery of a Friday spent at work, all the way through the best parts of the weekend as a single, carefree teen, (sob).

1/ Pre night warm-up. Psyching each other up, convincing everyone to show up and getting the pre-night alcohol buzz.

2/ The round trip to pick everyone up. (This is where the film lies a bit, assuming someone actually volunteers to remain sober and be skipper their night is already ruined. Here the skipper is always Jip, who never seems short of a beer or some pills.) 3/ The pre-gig drinks at the local.

4/ The gig. (In this case they must cadge their way in as they are short of tix.) 5/ The initial slowdownâ?¦ followed by the second wind! 6/ The post gig early am house party. Gibberish conversations, paranoia and arguments.

7/ The next morning "never again" personal promise.

8/ The next evening debrief at the pub. (Which if all goes well used to lead to the Saturday evening starting back at 1/.

Amazingly enough the film always seemed to capture the best bits and worst bits of every stage of the day, even in a 90 odd minute film. Perhaps it is because as I was watching the movie I was in fact recalling similar events from the period that I was doing the same stupid sh*t that these guys were, I dunno.

In any case Human Traffic is the rarest of rare, a concept movie that takes a lot of risks yet actually works.

It was written and directed by a young bloke too, because I don't think a 40 year old would be able to make this film and accurately convey the vibe that comes across.

I know I couldn't, (I'm still a little ways away from 40). I've inevitably moved beyond the "work is slavery", "the Man is out to get you" and "Bill Hicks is a genius" era. Now I think "work is unfortunately necessary (but granted it feels like slavery), "the Man is not out to get us, (but he ain't there to help us neither)", and "Bill Hicks was incredibly over-rated and spouts a lot of sh*t that druggies and idiots grab onto to justify their own decisions and inadequacies".

Phew, what else is there? A cracking soundtrack (even a decade plus on), real actors without the US standard 10/10 hunks and goddesses with massive fakies, and a very convincing, yet quite naïve; message that "damn it drugs are f*cking great!" Final Rating â?? 8 / 10. The DVD cover sums it up nicely "The weekend has landedâ?¦ all that's left are clubs, drugs, pubs and parties". Meet Human Traffic.