Review of Houseboat (1958) by Edith N — 17 Sep 2007

I can't help wondering what the original concept of this film, before it was rewritten to include Sophia Loren, was like. I wonder if the children were such insufferable brats, if Cary Grant's character was such a self-absorbed jerk, and if the maid was such an irresponsible twit. The movie is full of those moments where you know you're supposed to be feeling sorry for characters, but I never do. I think they deserve whatever's coming to them and more.

Cary Grant is, we think, a widower whose wife died during divorce proceedings. At least that's the impression I get. Anyway, he's left with three children who hate him for unspecified reasons. It's hard for me to hate him, because he's Cary Grant, but the children don't know him well enough to know what his character's like. He hires Sophia Loren as a maid--his children assume she's available to [i]be[/i] a maid without asking, showing that they're inherited his self-absorption. Fortunately for them, she is. Through a series of pointless misunderstandings, they end up living on a houseboat, where they all learn to love each other.

Cary Grant and Sophia Loren are both too good for this. The word "formulaic" is appropriate, here, but it's only part of the problem. The problem is that it's genuinely hard to like any of these people, the more so because it [i]is[/i] so formulaic. There are no surprises in this movie.

No, tell a lie. It's a bit surprising when the oldest son turns out to be a thief, but he never gets punished, so that's okay. Sophia Loren gets very surly at even the idea that he should be punished. I'm here to tell you how bad an idea [i]that[/i] is. The kid needs to learn that his youthful rebellion has consequences.

If you're a big Cary Grant fan, I suppose you can take the time to watch this. Or a big Sophia Loren fan. Ideally, both. It'll take a lot of adoration to make this palatable. You'll spend the first fifteen minutes waiting for Cary Grant to slap the bejeezus out of the children and the rest of the movie wishing [i]someone[/i] would. Sadly, no one ever does.