Review of House of the Dead (2003) by Clem666 — 23 Feb 2021

I never thought it was possible to achieve so many mistakes and bad choices in a row. This movie is a monument, no doubt of it. Where did it go wrong? Oh yes, adapting a rail-shooter game as a movie. Why did no one instantly react to this idea? Anyway the worst is done. Now let's review it.

Overall acting is terrible. Dialogues are one of the dumbest of the whole history of cinema. Women (excepted the cop one) are all here to showcase their breasts (and their bodies in some extent). Scenario is dreadful, unoriginal and predictable. Jokes are unfunny, dull and vulgar. Some scenes are plagiarized from 'Jaws'. Special effects, costumes and make-up are horrible. Overall lighting is a mess. Characters are over-stereotyped. It is impossible to develop any empathy for any of them. Scenes are awfully shot, with way too many cuts and inappropriate flashes of the original game. Sega company takes its enormous bundles of bills in the beginning of the movie when they accepted to show their brand during that truly indecent party. Music and original score are agressive and also inappropriate. I found pace was quite good excepted during fights which all were way too long.

Don't get me wrong, despite the 2/10 it is clearly a movie that I will rewatch with pleasure because I certainly missed a lot of its flaw on the first view. I am quite fascinated by this.