Review of House of the Dead (2003) by Ethan Y — 07 Nov 2007

Okay. we all know that Uwe Boll's horror movies are crap. the one movie that I feel he did a really good job on was "Postal" and I have to admit that "Alone in the Dark" had some charms to it but otherwise the rest of his movies are just bad.

this movie might have worked as a parody of the zombie genre but as a horror movie it just failed completly. the bad acting, ridiculous camera movements, and the sheer stupidity of this spectacle just caused me to lose my suspension of disbelief.

here's an example, girl has shotgun, zombie attacks, girl jumps in air and shoots zombie with said shotgun, zombie dies and girl lands on her feet in the same place. okay, now we all know what would happen if you did something as stupid as jump in the air and fire a shotgun.

first off, you'd land on your ass and possibly break several bones. second, you'd get the air knocked out of you by said blast, and finally, you'd feel really stupid afterward. this movie was just awful and the only reason I gave it a star is because it made me laugh and reminded me that there are fates worse than death, if I died and went to movie hell it would be me strapped to a chair and being forced to wait this movie repeatedly for all eternity.