Review of Herbie Fully Loaded (2005) by Nicola H — 07 Mar 2009

Recently graduated and skirtless tart Maggie (Lindsay Lohan) is lumbered with junkyard banger Herbie and soon discovers that he is a super fast racecar with a mind of his own. For some reason Herbie has been given huge eyelids; the filmmakers having misunderstood that Herbie already looks alive just by being a VW Beetle and not due to hunking lumps of metal that actually make him look a lot faker. As usual, Herbie forces himself on someone who doesn't want him. Doesn't he wonder why he keeps getting abandoned?

But finally, Lindsay has found her ticket out of her extremely successful future as a reporter, now she can be a NASCAR racing driver like the rest of her family. Yes, NASCAR. A sport that is extremely boring to watch and hear. So don't get excited about the finale.

Maggie is annoying for two reasons. One, she has an extremely rare and wonderful opportunity ahead of her that she begrudges, and two, she is already a competent and talented driver so why does she need Herbie? Herbie is supposed to help people who aren't very good drivers, or just need protecting in general. Therefore, I cannot feel empathy for her. A better lead would be her struggling racing driver brother. Maggie's father doesn't want her to race in case she gets hurt, and yet doesn't blink when his son is repeatedly caught in major crashes. Oh well. We're not allowed that film.

This is quite boring and pretty lame, but there have been worse Herbie films.