Review of Her (2013) by Colinheico — 04 Feb 2014

"There's a dead cat by the bed, choke me with it!" "I uhhh, wrap the dead cat's tail around your neck and choke you with it.".

This exchange happens maybe 15 minutes into the movie. Surely you'd think this is pretty much the lowest a movie can sink, the most awful and pitiful a movie could have to offer. After watching this, I envy your naievity. I went partially based on reading reviews on this site stating it was good; reviews on this site are dead to me because I refuse to believe anyone but a paid schill would give this movie a positive review. I went partially based on seeing the Spike Jonze short movie "I'm Here" knowing he could make a touching movie. This was a complete disappointment on every level. This movie has dethroned The Blair Witch Project as the worst movie I've seen in theaters. Do not see this movie, it is simply the worst.

The characters are wooden and un-relatable, with the main character the worst of all. The dialog is as natural as a packing peanut, with robot girl constantly stating I AM HAVING FEELINGS, THERE AREN'T WORDS FOR ALL THESE FEELINGS I AM FEELING! The romance never suspends your disbelief and makes the Anakin-Padme romance seem like Shakespeare by comparison. The only emotions this movie inspires are pity and disgust. If you made a drinking game of take a shot every time the main character stares into space as though it's supposed to be meaningful, you would leave the theater beyond hammered. There was so much potential in this premise and every ounce of it wasted.