Review of Hell Is for Heroes (1962) by Kris W — 23 Jan 2011

"The brutal realities that faced every G.I. during World War II".

"Courage never dies.".

"ONLY 6 G.I.'s and they had to hold off the whole German army!".

Small squad must hold off German attack. U.S. soldiers include Steve McQuee, James Coburn, Mike Kellin (Midnight Express), Harry Guardino (Dirty Harry), singer Bobby Darin, and comedian Bob Newhart in his film debut.

Pvt. Dave Corby: Hey, how you doin', buddy? As you can see, we eat very well around here. Hey, on the up and up, if there's anything you might need, I'm the guy to see around here. If I don't have it, I can get it for you.

Pvt. John Reese: Beat it.

Pvt. Dave Corby: Oh, excuse me. I didn't recognize you, General.

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Monique Ouidel: I drink to you, and to the American Army.

Pvt. John Reese: How long ago were you drinking to the Third Reich?

Monique Ouidel: I do not like the Germans.

Pvt. John Reese: You don't like me, either, but you're drinking with me.

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Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: I was kind of surprised to see you in our outfit.

Pvt. John Reese: You and me both.

Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: I haven't had time to check your papers. Where'd you transfer from?

Pvt. John Reese: The outfit I came from was a real dilly. There was a general, a major, two captains, two lieutenants, and me. There's a squad for you, buddy-o.

Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: Sounds like a court martial board.

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Sgt. Jim Larkin: Hey, Corby, what's the matter with you? Can't you forget about that loot? You're in a church.

Pvt. Dave Corby: This ain't a church no more, Sergeant. And besides, even if it was, so what?

Sgt. Jim Larkin: Well it used to be, J.J. You oughtta have respect for things that used to be.

Pvt. Dave Corby: What are you buckin' for chaplain or something? I got respect, Sergeant. Plenty. But its not for somebody I can't see.

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Sgt. Jim Larkin: [after the squad is fired on by a German machine gun] You guys are covered here, but walk carefully beyond this point.

Pvt. Dave Corby: Walk? Are you out of your mind? I'm gonna dig a subway.

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Pfc. James E. Driscoll: But Sergeant, you don't understand. I was sent to clerk-typist school. That's all I've ever done in the army was type!

Sgt. Jim Larkin: Man, we're gonna give you on the job training.

Pvt. Dave Corby: What's up, Sergeant?

Sgt. Jim Larkin: Take this man over to that foxhole next to Reese and teach him how to shoot.

Pvt. Dave Corby: [Larkin hands him Driscoll's brand new rifle] With this here? It might get dirty.

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Sgt. Jim Larkin: [checking on Driscoll's training] How we doing?

Pvt. Dave Corby: Oh, splendid, Sergeant. He still can't hit anything, but he loads like a genius.

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Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: [after the failed attempt on the pillbox] How close did you get?

Pvt. John Reese: Two hundred yards.

Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: How'd it happen?

Pvt. John Reese: Mine field.

Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: Henshaw?

Pvt. John Reese: Yeah. He tripped a mine. He was carrying a torch. It lit up the whole countryside. Put us right on the block.

Platoon Sgt. Bill Pike: Were you right?

Pvt. John Reese: How the hell do I know?

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Capt. Roger Loomis: Reese! Who gave the order for that attempt on the pillbox? You hear me? Who gave the order?

Pvt. John Reese: I did, sir.

Capt. Roger Loomis: You had orders to stay here on the ridge and hold it. You knew that! What about Kalinsky? What about the man you left in the field? And you say you gave the order, huh? Reese, you're a private, you don't give orders, you *take* them!

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Homer: Why you no like Homer?

Pvt. John Reese: You got no business up here. When the Krauts come, they'll capture you and pull your fingernails. Then you'll tell them everything they want to know.

Homer: No!

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Pfc. James E. Driscoll: [fake telephone conversation with "headquarters" to fool the Germans listening in] Uh - Hi. Temple Red to - uh - Abel 6. This... This is Lt. Driscoll - the - uh - the entertainment officer.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: About the morale, sir, it's been rather low. Uh - the main complaint seems to be about the evening movie.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Y-Yes, sir. I've had to show 'Road to Morocco' five evenings now in a row, sir.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Well, the men are beginning to be a little surly, sir.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Yes, sir. They know all the lines.

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Pfc. James E. Driscoll: [fake telephone conversation with "headquarters" to fool the Germans listening in] Temple Red. This is Lt Driscoll.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Wh- Don't send them up here. Sir, I have five men in each foxhole now. I don't have room for anymore, sir.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Have you tried Charlie company, sir?

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Oh, I see. Well, sir, there's still a war going on in Japan, you know, sir, you might send them over there.

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Pfc. James E. Driscoll: [fake telephone conversation with "headquarters" to fool the Germans listening in] We'll certainly be on the look out for it, sir.

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: A Pfc, you say?

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: With a load of typewriters in the back?

Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Well if we see him, we'll contact you sir.

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Pfc. James E. Driscoll: Oh, they're supposed to taste like potato soup?

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Cpl. Henshaw: We've got nothing but vacancies in this hotel.