Review of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) by Ineedausernamen — 05 Jul 2017

Well, if you read my review of Halloween 5 and you watched it anyway, and then you watched this one, obviously I didn't warn you enough. They both suck massively. This one even more so. They went all out with the whole "Curse of Thorn" horse**** and completely tarnished Michael.

The worst part is, this is the REAL Michael Myers, and they shat upon him and who he is. At least in Rob Zombie's putrid Halloween II we're dealing with some bushy beaver redneck imposter, not the real Myers.

It's unavoidable in Halloween 6, because this is a sequel to Halloween 5, which was a sequel to Halloween 4, a film which undoubtedly had the real Michael Myers, and so it all leads back to this. The only option is easy- disregard the so-called "Thorn trilogy" (even Halloween 4, which was a pretty good film in my "professional" opinion) and go along with the Halloween I, II, 20 Years Later timeline.

Then again, that brings us to Halloween: Resurrection. Anyway, I digress. Halloween 6 is a contender for worst in the series, but I think I can safely say now, no matter how much this one blows, no matter how hard it sucks, and how many gallons it swallows and inhales until the putrid matter bursts forth from its very core, and from all of its unholy orifices, RZ's Halloween II just sucks harder.

Either way, they are both detestable, and for those of you who haven't seen them, I'd highly recommend you refrain from doing so, and if it ever comes down to it, it's like picking the lesser of two evils- except in this case it's like picking the lesser of two sucky movies.

Pick your poison, get it over with quick, and if you actually like it, you're a stronger person than I am. Good luck. Viewer beware. You're in for some ass sucking.