Review of Gymkata (1985) by Bastet 0 — 27 Oct 2008

Strangely, I had seen this on TV as a kid and didn't remember it- I had only seen the scene in the crazy town where the guy cut his own arm off and it terrified the grapes out of me. Funny to have closure in my life on such a psychologically scarring event... and to realize what a dumb movie to be scared of.

When you see a movie that invents a combat style that combines gymnastics and martial arts, and gives this 'art form' it's own japanese-esque name, you know you can only expect cheese. And gymkata delivers. Kurt Thomas tries so hard to portray a badass but it's difficult to believe when he's making wise ass remarks worse than the cartoon spiderman's, and with that ratty mini-mullet on his head.

The villains are sterotypical barbarians and the game itself is so 'horrid' that it has such a spectacular name: The Game.

You can not mistake this as coming from any era other than the 80s, the lacking plot, the huge holes that create bizarre scenarios (pommel horse scene, anyone?) and the way things are just thrown out there to add another plot twist (the love plot- after a short music-less montage, suddenly kurt and a princess are making whoopee like old lovers, though having very little interaction).

If you like your movies with cheesy one liners, sprinkled with action, and gratuitous male cameltoe, rent this.