Review of Gymkata (1985) by Lyndon G — 23 Jan 2010

I almost certainly had the wrong expectations, but what would it take to get the right ones? Round about 12 years old one night receiving some cable with my brother, I found I could no longer deny being in the presence of the worst movie I had ever encountered.

It's hard to say what that means exactly, because only unnatural methods remain that could ever hope to reform me. Fast forward--recently, some idle review scanning gives me a funny vibe. A few people consider Gymkata to be a movie about a plausible international incident.

I have it on faith that people involved in production were smoking tire irons, one or two succeeded in drinking pumping iron, and the father's second stunt man (who got shot in the heart with an arrow and stayed on his horse) was generally unconscious from inhaling rust.

I'm adding 1/2 a star for a big smooth globe because, watching way back then, I could--recuperating from shock with a little effort--locate my voice and utter croaks of bemusement and outrage with my brother.

And because it's impossible to forget something this unashamedly, monotonously, and probably intentionally (though that's no excuse) awful.