Review of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009) by Chads — 02 May 2009

The Ghost of Girlfriends Past is so young; an eternal teenager who haunts Connor Mead at his brother's wedding because, one surmises, the lothario had something to do with her death. Cheerfully playing the curator of his own romantic history, the former Allison Vandermeersh was on the receiving end of a careless kiss from Connor at a basement party.

They were high school contemporaries. In all probability, the dead girl has issues with Connor, a fact that "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" largely obscures since her comportment betrays no blatant malevolent signs which would be detrimental to the irritating lightness of this purported romantic comedy.

But subtle signs subsist, in spite of the film's broad comic tone. Arranged by Allison's control of time and space, Connor revisits a scene from his formative years; his non-a**hole years before mom and dad expired in a car wreck, where he tells the girl on a the swing, "I'll keep it forever," because the ghost knows that the Polaroid is his most prized memento.

With glee, Allison repeatedly rewinds this moment when Connor's older self denies ever having expressed himself so vulnerably. At the aforementioned party, Allison clearly wasn't part of the in-crowd(the glasses and braces are a dead giveaway), so her makeout session with Connor(off-screen, following the secondhand kiss) was quite possibly the highlight of her short life.

The dead girl, after all these years, revels in being his first conquest. If "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" was more honest, it would have included a scene in which the photographer asks Allison about the details surrounding her death.

Sadly, her character is underwritten. Instead of ripping off Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", the narrative might have benefited from having just one ghost: a ghost with a long memory and bruised feelings.

The film seems unaware that Connor owes The Ghost of Girlfriends Past an apology. His redemption is too easy.