Review of Getaway (2013) by Fernando H — 02 Sep 2013

When you went out trick or treating as a kid and came home with that pile of candy, I bet you couldn't understand why your mom said you could only have a piece or two. That is until you ate more then that and got a serious stomach ache.

Too much of something, can do that to you can't it? Such is the case with the plot-less, meaning-less and point-less movie Getaway. I wasn't going to go see this garbage accept maybe at the $3 theater, but when I went to the $3 theater to see another movie and the line was all the way down the dad-gum street, I went to the new theater to check out a different movie then Getaway but it wasn't playing any longer.

So Getaway it was, and I certainly couldn't wait to get away when it was over. This movie is exactly 90 minutes long. No kidding when I say 70 minutes of it are car chases. How many different ways can you wreck a hapless wee-ooo siren blazing European police car? Apparently, about a hundred! However, I grew tired of that quickly.

There is just simply no substance to this thing. When Selena Gomez is the voice of reason (yes that girl you see on Disney Channel's stupid shows), you know you are in trouble. Also, who wants to see a tight shot of Jon Voigt's mouth for 90 freaking minutes? The guys doesn't even have that nice of teeth! Ethan Hawke has done two bombs since his resurgence in Sinister, but now I begin to wonder what that guy is thinking.

Here's the deal. I give this thing one star because of a two minute long, non-cutaway shot (after nothing but quick edits) toward the end during a chase scene, and kind of a cool ending that wasn't total sellout.

So watch the last 5 minutes of this garbage and you'll see enough.