Review of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005) by Paul D — 13 Apr 2018

After watching the horrendous "Spirits Within" movie, I decided to give Final Fantasy another chance and watched Advent Children Complete. Bad idea! This movie was not as bad as Spirits Within, but it was still a waste of time.

Square Enix decided to ruin the characters of FF7 by turning Cloud into a whiny, broody, annoying twit that can't do anything for himself. He leeches off of Tifa then picks up a stray kid (and don't get me started on how much I hate new kids added to stories), dumps him off on Tifa and runs away, leaving Tifa to juggle being a single mom to 2 kids, running a business, paying off Cloud's motorcycle and caring for a terminally ill kid.

They turned the once-badass Turk Reno into a bumbling idiot as well. Additionally, they bring back characters that are supposed to be dead! What was the point of killing off Aerith if she apparently can just come back and be amongst the living whenever she pleases and gets in the way of Cloud moving on? She is dead! She need to stay dead! The plot is just ridiculous.

Sephiroth comes back along with some remnants, a bunch of kids and Cloud get a terminal illness and the holy, overly powerful, god-like Mary Sue Aerith is the only being that has the cure and saves the day.

(She was an ass, however, and let a bunch of kids suffer and die cause she didn't give up the cure until Cloud forgave himself). Oh and Zack comes back from the dead too and gives Cloud the strength to defeat Sephiroth.

I only added an extra star because of the fight scene with Tifa and Loz. Tifa gives someone with the strength of Sephiroth a good ass whooping without even needing a weapon! Basically, you should fast forward this movie until the Tifa vs.

Loz fight then turn it off as soon as the fight ends.