Review of Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) by All_Buttru4 — 22 Dec 2022

Absolutely hilarious to watch if you're anything like me and enjoy some cringe from time to time. It's rigid performances and sobering book accuracy make for one of the most unnatural romance films in recent history.

There is no chemistry here,no drama,no concerning conflict. Just a billionaire with unresolved ptsd and a God complex. It's unfortunate how seeing the supposedly sexy words that captured many on pages be said by real life people without discernable irony such as the repulsive flirting post contract negotiation or the now infamous don't make love I **** To be honest I can't really admonish the film as it didn't have a lot to go on but with that said the actors didn't help.

Jamie Dornan is unwatchable as the presumably (I presume because it's never expressed) sexy bachelor, he feels wooden and not in the intended way Christian was written (albeit terribly) to be. Dakota Johnson at least attempts and is unsuprisingly the only one willing to go bare for the sake of her charater.

Another thing I found frustrating was how no arcs were explored satisfyingly such as José attempted assault, the family dinner,his intimacy issues,Anna's fears etc. They just use every scene as interludes b4 they f ,nit as opportunities to develop characters.

Overall this is a sprawling yet bare 2hr disappointment that I can't stop chastising.