Review of Fifty Shades Darker (2017) by Harvey R — 25 Feb 2017

All that Twilight (first film)was in the end, was a story about a 840 year old teenage "boy" practicing abstinence.

Now from the book, which granted I never read, apparently some older lady decided to write fan fiction about it on her BlackBerry device. And thus came Fifty Shades of Grey. I suppose in the words of ScreenJunkies, "Teens had Twilight but now it's mom's turn.".

You can't deny moms love their movies. Or was the intended demographic really all moms as claimed by some? I mean, I was there (granted to judge) and so were a surprising amount of men who werent exactly dragged there. By this logic it shouldnt be surprising Fifty Shades Darker is beating Lego Batman and John Wick.

But to me it sure is shocking.

Yes, it is directed by James Foley (Glengary Glenn Ross) to prove one movie doesnt get you respect...or self respect for that matter. And the star is the granddaughter of Tippi Hedren, here to prove that talent isnt part of genetics.

What else is there to say. Can we blame them for such bad writing when the book came from a BlackBerry? Can you believe we have met a couple less likable than Bella and Edward? On the plus side, at least they dont look as uncomfortable as they did in the first movie.

But in the end, I'm willing to bet that when PornHub makes a parody of Fifty Shades Darker, it will probably recieve more critical acclaim than the original.