Review of Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014) by Ildefonso M — 15 Mar 2015

Trust me, just don't watch it.

Underwhelming telling of the biblical epic we all know and love, the story of God delivering the Israelites from the slavery and tyranny of Egypt. But when we see the grand scope of the kingdom, why don't we care? When we meet the characters, or lack thereof, we just find ourselves missing the blandly great scenery. It takes a lot to bore me, and I must've checked the time at least 10 before the first act ended.

With everything else going on the only thing I base the film on are the performances, which believe me, we've seen Christian Bale do much better. Seriously, what Ridley Scott needed was a thorough sit down with the writers of this mess, of whom I question even knew the story at all, and really grab their shoulders with some common sense instead of having them poorly attempt to manipulate it out of us.

When Darren Aranofsky retold his rendition of Noah, he dared not misinterpret the written scriptures. Rather just approaching them, hand over heart with a vision in mind. Scott throws in a few era accurate costumes, big names ala Ben Kingsley, hollow special effects that would make Michael Bay blush, and the payoff of the plagues, please don't even get me started.

But because he stated "For my brother Tony Scott" in the end credits, are we supposed to be grateful? In terms of being oblivious to actual human interaction and believability in the plot at hand, just keep your needlessly bloody fingers from the bible and stick with "Alien", it suits you.