Review of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) by Lisa Michelle A — 28 Jan 2012

OMG! I LOVE this film!!! It's better than the sequel and so much funnier!!! Elvira is hilarious throughout!!! There are so many great parts to this film i'd be here forever listing them so i'll just say I love the whole film and list my favorite lines.

The best lines (in no particular order):

Elvira: "Bloody Mary.".

Bartender: "No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?".

Elvira: "Maybe, but, ah... I'll have a couple of drinks first.".

Patty: "Seems to me it's all this cheap little tart's fault.".

Elvira: "Cheap. Who are you callin' cheap? What's that perfume you're wearing, catch of the day?".

Vincent Talbot: "I must apologize for my behavior in the office, it's just that your appearance was a bit of a shock to me.".

Elvira: "It's OK. My appearance is kind of a shock to everybody.".

Elvira: "Revenge is better than Christmas.".

Elvira: "And if they ever ask about me, tell them I was more than just a great set of boobs. I was also an incredible pair of legs. And tell them... tell them that I never turned down a friend. I... never turned down a stranger for that matter. And tell them... tell them that when all is said and done, I only ask that people remember me by two simple words.".

[Stops to think].

Elvira: "Any two, as long as they're simple.".

Elvira: "My name's Elvira but you can call me 'tonight'.".

Bob Redding: "I run the movie house.".

Elvira: "Oh, really? I'm in movies too! Have you ever shown, uh, "I Married Satan"?".

Bob Redding: "No...".

Elvira: "How about the sequel, "I Married Satan 2"?".

Elvira: "Hey, nice jacket. Who shot the couch?".