Review of Dragonslayer (1981) by Jennifer M — 13 Jan 2009

Full of spoilers, no attempt to summarize the plot:

Ok, so, I understand this is an old kids movie, and that I shouldn't hold it up to new fantasy movie standards. And you know what, I enjoyed this movie up to about the last half hour, where everything just seems to fall apart. But, seriously? Did any one take a second look at this plot? Being predictable is acceptable in a movie like this, but just because you accept the fact that the situation is supposed to be fantastic (One dragon in the entire world left and you decide to continue living in the one village the dragon terrorizes? But then I guess it kind of wasn't the last dragon since it's got those little things, so I guess this old as hell dragon managed to find another dragon, make babies that never grow up, and we'll just walk away from this aspect of the plot at this point. And, if 'sacrificial lamb' has got to be a virgin who has 'come of age,' well, I think we can all come up with a solution for that, but I guess this is a kids movie, which is funny because it still makes the 'virgin' distinction) doesn't mean that it's ok to have the characters act completely stupidly. I know, the intrepid hero acts foolhardy, yeah, yeah, no beef with that. But the princess is an idiot, and she freaking gets eaten! WHAT WAS THAT? Was that some kind of symbolism? Gave the hero more motivation to kill the little critters? Everything after this point really doesn't make sense. I was willing to accept everyone's reactions after the first time Galen 'killed the dragon,' in that no one was really mad he screwed things up. I was willing to accept that of coarse Valerian and Galen were going to fall in love and junk and that Valerian's father just so happened to have this great big spear just a-waiting for someone to thrust into the dragon's throat. But, after Galen fails to kill the dragon a second time (where you first get to really see the dragon, which, I have to say, looked awesome! Bad stop motion aside, the design of the dragon was brutal and probably the best part of the movie. Not to say the fight was the best part, since that was 90% Galen cowering behind his shield. Man, good thing Valerian just at the last minute decided to make that) the solution Galen and Valerian came up with was the get the Hell out of Dodge. This really doesn't create depth to their characters. Anyway, they don't go, Galen brings his master back, the master is apparently just a time bomb triggered by the amulet (dumb) and the movie closes (with a stupid horse scene but nevermind that) with very dark religious tones. God is a fraud? Not that I'm offended by this notion, but what the hell is it doing at the end of this movie?

Overall, someone needed to re-evaluate the events and polished the characters and script. The only person who almost has a personality is Valerian. Everyone else is boring and (gasp, in a fantasy!) unimaginative.