Review of Dragon Wars: D-War (2007) by Randyn. — 29 Mar 2010

I will pretty much sit through anything, and as this was a free netflix download I managed to watch it with one eye while doing other work on the computer. It's an amazing film, and I mean that in the worst possible way.

The actions of the people in the film are so incomprehensible, every ten feet they stumble into another staggering coincidence, the dragon ALWAYS pauses before eating the girl (alas! She got away again) the bad guys' motivation is.

.. what? To end the world? And just why do they wish to do this? And how do they aim those howitzers mounted on the giant toads' backs? How could a dozen Abrams tanks not perforate more than one or two blubbery beasts walking towards them with about 3 minutes of fire time? And why do the bad guys walk towards the US soldiers, anyhow? Why not just go capture the girl? It's okay, the FBI has a very advanced mysticism unit (or something) so they know all about this legend.

um. Okay, then. It may be worth it to watch this movie, just for the novelty of setting a new low for yourself. Just be sure to place sharp objects out of reach during the film, to prevent yourself from plunging them into your own eyes.