Review of Dracula 3D (2012) by Thomas W — 21 Oct 2013

Italian director Dario Argento decides to give the oft-told Dracula tale new life/blood in a 3D format in a hokey, bungled tribute to the British Hammer horror films of the 1950s and onward. Hammer Films began in the 1930s and is best known for such "monster classics" as The Curse of Frankenstein, 1957's Dracula, The Mummy, the Karnstein trilogy and 1961's Curse of the Werewolf.

Argento relies very heavily on his audience already knowing the Dracula tale as he is just plops his Bram Stoker characters into the Transylvanian setting without little build-up or explanation of Dracula's past.

Argento has only used the character names Stoker has created as he does whatever he desires with each and every one of characters (don't get too attached to Jonathan Harker!! [Unax Ugalde - Goya's Ghosts]).

Argento allows himself to be free with Stoker's literary source ... and it results in much confusion. Argento had hoped for a pulpy bloody gore fest but there are more laughs here on display than anything and there is actually quite little blood (which is rather strange).

He has tried to make a tribute to the schlocky Hammer films so I cannot fault the film completely as being "horrible" as he has reason to be "less than spectacular". The look of the film has a cheap, staged look to it that fits the era of film making he pays tribute to and most of the acting is either campy over-the-top or look-away-horrible.

Thomas Kretschmann (The Pianist) plays the supposedly mild-mannered Dracula here while Rutger Hauer (Hobo with a Shotgun) plays a very non grizzled Van Helsing. The director's daughter, Asia (Marie Antoinette), plays the ill-fated Lucy while Marta Gastina ("Borgia" .

.. NOT "The Borgias") plays Mina. The characters pretty much do what Bram wrote them to do; but Argento has decided to lessen the roles of some ... most likely because he found them boring and they didn't take their clothes off enough.

The film has some bad moments -- look for the giant praying mantis (!) -- but Argento seems to knowingly imbibe in most of the campiness. So ... those who enjoy cheap, bad horror films of yesteryear .

.. this one is for you.