Review of District 9 (2009) by Alex — 18 Aug 2009

Nothing happens at the start, nothing happens at the end, and nothing worthwhile happens in between. The film was not intelligent, insightful, or interesting. The oh-so original message that the pseudo-intellectuals are harping about is the same one we've seen a thousand times: "Humans are more monstrous than the monsters.

" Are you surprised? Can you wrap your head around that? How about if I repeat myself again... and again? Didn't Peter Jackson already make a movie about this? (King Kong) *Spoiler Alert* Lastly, nothing made sense.

Why come to Earth? Why be addicted to cat food? Why be abused by humans if you have crazy-powerful alien weapons and super strength? Why do the humans and aliens understand each others' language? Why not converse in the same language? It takes an alien 20 years to radio the mothership directly overhead to beam him up? Once in the mothership, why fly away? To get help? You could have done that 20 years ago - ya know, instead of landing here and stranding your fellow aliens in a hell-hole.

If someone is shooting you - with bullets - from a gun - and you're dying... why not shoot back!? I've saved the best for last: Why does a splash of alien fuel mutate a person into an alien? .

Ask yourself that question one more time... then splash yourself with gasoline. These are not "plot holes" these are "plot chasms." They are stupid. The movie is stupid. Before you start with the "no, you're stupid!", let me assure you.

I saw the movie. I understood it. It was stupid. No, really, I get it. I got it. Yes, apartheid, yeah, segregation, yeah humanity is evil and the aliens are the good guys. Sure, social commentary, satire, etc.

I said "I get it!" That doesn't make it clever or original, and it most certainly does not make it entertaining.