Review of Diamonds Are Forever (1971) by Neil L — 11 Jan 2010

Trying to rescue the James Bond franchise from the financially unrewarding love story of On Her Majesties Secret Service, orginal Bond Sean Connery was wooed back for one last official sip of Vodka Martine, shaken not stirred. Continuing the story from the previous film Bond is out for revenge for the murder of his wife at the hands of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, here played by the wonderful Charles Gray. Bond believing he has avenged the death of his wife and returns to normal duties, the plot moves from Amsterdam to Las Vegas where he discovers his wifes murderer and arch nemesis are very much alive. Blofeld plans to use a horde of stolen diamonds to power a super laser in orbit to detonate the worlds supply of nuclear warheads. Yes really, that is the plot!

This is a film which revels in the camp excessive of Vegas and and its plot after the po-faced seriousness which detracted from the fun of the franchise in On Her Majesties, Charles Gray gives the best ever portrayal of Blofeld as camp as you like and with his tongue so firmly in his cheek its a wonder he could say his lines, he has some of the most memorable dialogue in the film "Tiffany my dear, your showing a bit more cheek than usual", and the smutastic "right idea Mr Bond, but wrong pussy". One scene does beg the question why does the most powerful crime lord in the world need to drag up as a woman and wander through a hotel lobby to make his escape? Why not just order a helicopter to arrive at the roof of the building from SPECTRE? This doesn't distract though because its all part of the camp wonderment!

It might not be trying to be worthy, you might think that Charles Gray ruined Blofeld's menace playing him as a camp mincing part time drag queen, you might think that Connery's wig was ridiculous, or the plot too corny...this is Bond though at the end of the day and Diamonds Are Forever does what Bond does best, big spectacle, big explosions, beautiful women in their skimpies and a memorable villain who gives Bond a run for his money when it comes to the one line quips. Quite simply fantastic!