Review of Derailed (2005) by Steven N — 20 Oct 2009
My wife loves Jennifer Aniston. I know, I don't get it either. She's weird. She thinks that because she reads about her romantic exploits every issue of US Weekly, that she somehow knows her personally and is therefore required to see every film the woman puts out.
Even the ones that stink. (Which is pretty much all of them.) I was unfortunate enough to take in all one hundred and twelve minutes of this film, and it seemed closer three hundred and twelve minutes.
This film is terrible. Terrible like a kick tot he groin with a steel toed work boot. Terrible like a second kick to the already injured groin by another, larger steel toed work boot. More plot holes than bullets in Bonnie and Clyde, more bad writing than a creative writing class at your local adult annex, and it's all topped off with horrible false ending after horrible false ending ending, that moves towards a completely unsatisfying real ending that thankfully puts an end to this big, giant mess of a movie.
Clive Owen is bad. Aniston is worse. Director Mike Hafstrom is the absolute worst of the trio. My advice (in case you didn't already figure it out) is that you don't see this movie. Just don't.
Even if you're in the same perilous boat as me and your significant other "loves Jennifer Aniston," still don't see it. Trust me. Come up with an excuse. Tell a blatant lie. Heck, maybe even have an extra marital affair.
Do something, anything, everything within your power to ensure that you aren't forced to watch this film. You'll thank me in the end.
This review of Derailed (2005) was written by Steven N on 20 Oct 2009.
Derailed has generally received mixed reviews.
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