Review of D.E.B.S. (2003) by Paul F — 08 Nov 2004

I read the description to [i]D.E.B.S.,[/i] the opening night film at this year's Chicago Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, and was sold instantly. From the ads, it seemed to be about lesbian schoolgirls who were also secret agents running around shooing at each other. It's kind of hard to screw up a concept like that. And while [i]D.E.B.S.[/i] isn't exactly about miniskirted teenage girls firing lazer beams and then making out, it's close enough to warrant my attention.

Sara Foster plays Amy, one of four members in a group that's part of a hidden government agency (called, of course, D.E.B.S.--I don't remember what it stands for and honestly don't care) that recruits girls who get particular results on their SATs to fight crime. Amy's just broken up with her boyfriend and she's got a lot of thinking to do, especially after she winds up literally running into the D.E.B.S.' arch-rival, potential world dominatrix Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster) after interrupting her blind date on a stakeout.

Lucy falls for Amy, and Amy's unsure of her feelings, even after Lucy and her sidekick kidnap her (along with one of her teammates) for a night on the town. The rest of the agency is so impressed that Amy survived an encounter with the deadly Lucy that she's even made head of her team, much to the chagrin of their former leader, Max.

Complications occur, as they often do in these super-villian/good girl secret agent lesbian romances. In her rage, Lucy even threatens to sink Australia, but saner minds prevail. (I mean, Paul Hogan still lives there!).

It's all completely silly stuff, but the movie never takes itself seriously, opting for a nice [i]Bring it On[/i] level of goofiness that allows the characters to be likable even if the're in situations that wouldn't necesarily take place on the planet Earth. Even with that, though, there's still some situations within the plot that don't make any sense--Amy's "perfect score" on the test, for example, is supposed to show that she's a brilliant liar, but she's such a terrible liar even the most gullable characters can see through her.

Still, it's got a few memorable little moments and several really funny bits, though it's obvious that the budget didn't really allow them to do as much CGI-ish secret agent stuff is they clearly wanted to. (This is more like a clever [i]Agent Cody Banks[/i] than the [i]Willy Wonka[/i]-esque kaleidoscope of images of [i]Spy Kids[/i].) The acting is good, and the "gay-is-okay" message isn't rammed down your throat, something that will make this play better when it opens in theaters next spring.

(As a side note, Oscar nominee Michael Clarke Duncan is in this, in a thankless role of the girls' commander. It's strange that he's probably the biggest name in the cast, yet he's given literally nothing to do but show up every fifteen minutes or so and spout orders. What the hell?).