Review of Death Wish 3 (1985) by Troy C — 29 Aug 2009

I find this movie funnier than any comedy movie ever made. Horrible story, hilarious plot, stupid lines, and brain smashing logic. If you're looking for a good action movie: this isn't it. if you're looking for a poorly made/ funny 80's movie: jackpot.

I'll try and give you an idea of some of the hilarious situations in my favorite order. First: the entire plot of the movie is basically "Retirement Home v.s. Flamboyant Gangsters". Gangsters on average wear cut tank tops, short shorts, large chains, and painted faces (some sort of Vegas show rejects?). One of these gangsters is named The Giggler... He laughs a bunch. The leader of the gang shaved his head down the middle, and likes to kill old ladies... You can't make this stuff up.

Two: the main character is old and hefty, bowl haircut, and a crazy mustache. Enough said.

Three: Just to give you an idea of stupid logic, i'll explain my favorite scene (spoooiler alllerrrrrrrt). Kersey (the main character) leaves his lovely blonde counterpart in his car so he can get a package in the mail. When he leaves the car, two gangsters jump out of nowhere punch the Blonde in the face, put the car in neutral and push it down a hill. At top speed this car reaches an amazing 10 MPH and plows into a car at the bottom of the road ripping it in half. Indeed this is ridiculous in itself, but the cars then explode after sitting still for a couple seconds.

This movies is a must watch.