Review of Creepshow 2 (1987) by Erik W — 12 Oct 2014

I didn't do an in-depth review of the original Creepshow, where I go over every short in a little mini-review, and I won't do the same for this one. The original Creepshow actually deserved a more in-depth review, where I look at every short individually, but I just didn't do it for one reason or another.

Laziness perhaps. The reason I won't do an individual review for each short in THIS sequel is because the movie is so much worse than the original Creepshow, that there's not even much that I can sink my teeth on to actually review.

While the original film still had its inconsistencies, given that it is an anthology film, I still think the film focuses on the higher end of King short stories, only two were used for the original film, King wrote three others specifically for the film.

Because of that, even the shorts that weren't that good to begin with, like the short that Stephen King himself acted in, still had a bit of a campy charm that made watching them a lot of fun. This time over, in my opinion, other than the last short, called The Hitchhiker, they chose some of the lesser known Stephen King stories to focus on.

I know horror geeks revere Stephen King, as well they should, his influence on horror, in all its forms, will never be forgotten. But let's be honest and say that not every one his short stories was a winner.

There's nothing wrong with that, as prolific as a writer as King has been, he's bound to have a couple of stinkers, I think even he would admit this...and two of those stinkers made their way on here.

The film moves at a much quicker pace, given the fact that there's only 3 stories profiled and it only comes out to 89 minutes long, including the lame animated segments in between the shorts. So this movie will come and go fairly quickly, I have to give them that at least.

But there's just something lacking from this film. While the first movie certainly paid tribute to the horror comics Stephen King grew up reading, it was also a lot of fun to watch because of its dark humor and just sheer energy.

The first Creepshow is an absolute blast. It's al This film, while still having some lame gallows humor from the Creep, has just had its life and personality sucked out from under it. Being that that was such a big part of why the original film was so good, making a sequel without that same personality was really a big letdown.

I'm assuming they just didn't have the same budget and had to make do with what they had, but still, it's a big disappointment. The first short, with the wooden Indian statue outside the general store was pretty lame.

The statue kills some dudes that killed the old people that own the store. The gore isn't particularly that good either. The second short, The Raft, wasn't really any better. These teens get stuck on a raft where they then get killed by this strange oil slick monster that looks like it's a bunch of plastic bags stitched together.

The gore is a bit of an improvement there, but nothing to write home about and this ends up being another incredibly lame segment. I'm kinda glad that they saved the best short for last, but it's almost pointless by the time you get there.

You already know what you think of the movie, and one great short isn't gonna change that. But, goddamnit, did The Hitchhiker really try to change your perception of this film's overall quality.

The story is practically nonexistent, if we're being honest. It's about this woman, on her way home, who accidentally hits a guy, and kills, with her car. She drives off, fearing the consequences.

She starts to debate whether she should go back or if she'll turn herself in to the police if she can't take the guilt. After this she sees the guy she just hit and he's completely fucked up from the initial hit.

Every time she thinks she's finally rid of the guy, he comes back looking even worse, and it keeps on going like that until the end. To be honest, if it wasn't for the gore effects, which were outstanding, this wouldn't have been much either.

But I think the short itself was so gleefully violent that it did somewhat elevate the film, which I would've given a much lower rating if it wasn't for The Hitchhiker. I honestly think that I would've given the film 1 star, if it wasn't for the last segment of the film.

Story-wise, it wasn't great, but the gore was pretty incredible. I think that should, at the very least, receive some appreciation even if the rest of the film absolutely blew. To be honest, I expected this film to have a much lower audience reaction than 40%.

But here's the thing, that 40% isn't people who gave the film 3 stars. That's 40% of people who gave the film 3.5 stars or more. That is impossible for me to believe. Everyone is, of course, entitled to their own opinions and allowed to reach their own conclusions of a film, but I can't imagine 40% of people actually thinking that this was 3.

5 stars, or better. And Cabin Fever: Patient Zero, a film that isn't as bad as the professional reviews point out, only got 13% of users to give it 3.5 stars or more. I wouldn't ever given Patient Zero 3.

5 stars, but it was much better than it had any right to be. I realize I gave this film and Patient Zero the same rating, but that is deceptive. Creepshow 2 got one star added to its rating because its last segment was so much better than the first two turds we were given.

For all intents and purposes, this would've been a 1 star film if it wasn't for the copious amounts of gore in The Hitchhiker. I felt Patient Zero was a solid two stars from beginning to end, it wasn't a film that hinged on its climax or anything like that, which Creepshow 2 did.

That's why it's incredibly deceptive. Long diatribe out of the way, this movie is pretty terrible. It just looks really cheap, like it was filmed for a low-tier premium cable network that needed content to fill in airtime, it just has that look.

If you're intent on watching this, then just watch the last segment and then turn it off. Don't bother with the animated bullshit either, it's terrible as well. Hugely disappointed, it isn't even so bad that it's charming, like something from a bygone era, like so many 80s horror films.

Please watch the first Creepshow instead, you'll have so much more fun.