Review of Couples Retreat (2009) by Chads. — 10 Oct 2009

Four couples go to Bora Bora, an island paradise with water so blue, the moviegoer will wonder if it's CGI-enhanced. Four couples with issues, some known well in advance, and some which arise during their stay at the Eden West Resort, whose program director is so stereotypically French, it's like he has a mime stuck up his a**.

When Marcel(Jean Reno) puts pressure on Shane(Faizon Love), a commando-practicing obese black man, to take off his drawers for a couples skills training exercise, he relents, and scores an obligatory laugh from moviegoers, because big ones are supposed to be funny.

It becomes less funny, however, if you set this relationship dynamic in a historical context, where Bora Bora continues to be a French colony. Clearly ashamed about the rolls of belly fat hanging over his body, Shane's friends seem like fake friends, as they allow Marcel's unreasonable request to go by without anybody ever opening their mouths in protest.

Both the women, and the men, must really want to see Shane's p****. On all counts, "Couples Retreat" is just so dishonest, because it pretends to be innocuous and coy. Here's yet another example of a film that reeks of meddling from studio execs, who insist that all the characters be likable.

That the couples are, and boring. Some of the vacationers have cheating on their minds, in particular, the former high school football star(John Favreau) and his wife(Kristen Davis), but they never act on this impulse, since that would force the screenplay to go to places it isn't permitted to go.

It's a place called Interesting Movie.